Fry bowls Lord's over

The wonderful Stephen Fry gave a speech to the great and the good of cricket at Lord's the other night and was good enough to post it on his website http://www.stephenfry.com/blog/2009/07/16/cricket-speech-presented-at-lords-14th-july-2009/ It is a lovely and hilarious tribute to cricket in all its sweet and silly glory.

Zingers and zooters

"With great beard comes great responsibility..."

Morning everyone, I've been a rubbish blogger but I promise to be better. Excited about today's cricket... the Aussies have the upper hand in the first Test but if England can bowl with some fire and then bat with resolution and restraint they can not only save the match but maybe even win it. Or maybe it's just better if it rains a lot.

I'm probably even more excited about the prospect of Richie Benaud returning to our screens, albeit it only for brief Saturday stints in Five's coverage. Be good to hear some banter between him and Boycott again. Talking of banter, there's some great badinage flowing back and forth on Twitter. Bumble, Aggers, Dizzy Gillespie, Tuffers, Swanny, TMS, Malcolm Ashton are all on there, Bumble is hilarious. Cricket is definitely as much about banter and camaraderie as it is bowling and batting! If you're on Twitter, I'm HoracePecksniff for some reason I can't really remember.

Right, let's get things going with an over of zingers and zooters, as dear Richie might put it...

1) Welcome back, Richie - the Blessed Benaud is back in the commentary box in England (or Wales) today and that is a matter for rejoicing. The Guardian's Barney Ronay always comes up with some witty stuff and his homage to Richie is excellent http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/03/ashes-richie-benaud-commentary He calls Benaud "Yoda-like, cream-jacketed and always unobtrusively on the money..." Marvellous.

2) Freak dismissal - Cricket is wonderful because it's so formal and rule-bound on the one hand, but strange and surprising on the other. This week, Ed Joyce experienced the latter, caught by Jonathan Trott at short leg... when the ball landed in the right pocket of his trousers http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/counties/8142712.stm

3) Heads down - One thing that England's batters need to do is to turn solid starts and decent scores into centuries. At least one of Strauss, Bopara, Pieterson, Collingwood, Prior and Flintoff should have made three figures. If they can't do that this summer, then it's hard to see England winning back the Ashes. The Aussies do this as a matter of course. Ricky 'Punter' Ponting's determination and shot selection were excellent. He hardly ever gives his wicket away cheaply and that's what England's batsmen need to learn to do. Same with Essex actually. New boy Hashim Amla (see below) showed how that should be done yesterday, with his dogged second innings 181 saving the game against Glamorgan. Essex batters rarely seem to get Championship centuries at the moment.

4) Hashim Amla - "With great beard comes great responsibility" That's what hirsute Stanford-le-Hope spoken word maestro Scroobius Pip says on his MySpace and Essex's new overseas signing Hashim Amla surely knows this. No doubt Amla's impressive beardage is a result of his religious convictions, but like Mr Pip it certainly helps power along his performances. In fact, I've never seen Messrs Pip and Amla in the same room... Beards and cricket have a long history together. WG Grace is probably the most famously and extravagantly bearded cricketer of all time. Popular myth says that bowlers would often lose the ball in his mighty, bristling facial hair. Big beards are not much in fashion any more, on the cricket pitch or otherwise, but I hope that Amla can help reverse that trend.

5) Yes, It's The Ashes - So, a bit of lively cricket conversation and comedy with 5Live show Yes, It's The Ashes on Saturday morns at 11am with Andy Zaltzman. I'm listening to TMS but I'm gonna listen on iPlayer later http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/

6) The Scotch Egg - I've touched on cricket and snacks before, but never really thought about what cricketers might smell like. I prefer chomping on pink wafers, Choc Dips and Monster Munch while watching the glorious game. But here, Barney Ronay (again) speculates that Aussie quickie Peter Siddle may actually smell of scotch egg... http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/jul/11/peter-siddle-ashes-australia-barney-ronay It's an intriguing proposition. I think Ronay's (subconscious) thinking comes from the resemblance Siddle bears to Alan Partridge at times, parting his lips to reveal a cheesy grimace. And, of course, Alan liked a scotch egg but feared the repercussions.

Fast food v three course meal...

The ongoing debate about the merits of Twenty20 versus that of Test cricket will keep rumbling on, but here's an excellent case for the supremacy of the longer form of the game, as argued by James Lawton of The Independent (with thanks to my tweeing friend, Rich Lloyd).


http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/james-lawton-cricket-should-not-be-fun-ndash-twenty20-has-stripped-it-of-intrigue-and-brutality-1700220.html

Twenty20 is burger and fries, Test cricket is a three course meal at a top restaurant? After his recent comments, it's clear that West Indies captain Chris Gayle is a fast food fan, but most players still view Test cricket as the ultimate form of the game... surely?

Morning everyone, Richie's back...

Some snippets, an over of bits and bobs, watch out for the wrong 'un...

Firstly, the Aussies are out of the ICC Twenty20 World Cup at the first hurdle... Pity. Of course, it means little in respect to the Ashes, but while England can build some confidence and pit themselves against top international teams (hopefully), Mr Ponting's men will have to, as he put it, "spend two weeks in Leicester" before their first warm-up game. Job's a good 'un.

Next up, harking back to the Ashes series of 2005, which I do as often as possible... video footage has been found that reveals what Freddie Flintoff actually said to Brett Lee at Edgbaston after England squeaked it to victory and the England all-rounder consoled the Aussie paceman http://timesonline.typepad.com/line_and_length/2009/06/andrew-flintoff-reveals-what-he-really-said-to-brett-lee.html

Third delivery... watch the next programme in the excellent Empire of Cricket series while it's still on iPlayer http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00l6c5w/Empire_of_Cricket_West_Indies/ which looks at the rise and fall of the West Indies as a force in world cricket. Calypso time.

With Essex going through a mini-slump at the moment, here's a nice reminder of a high point from last year, Napes' magnificent, record-breaking T20 innings against Sussex http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoWx8fobwaY I was there and the crowd would boo (in good humour) when Napier didn't hit a four or six. One of those sixes nearly ended up in the multi-storey.

Exceptionally good news for all us Benaud lovers... the great man is gonna be back on the box, covering the Ashes on the Five highlights programme. He won't be commentating but will be analysing each Test on Five's Saturday broadcast... I'm not ashamed to say I shed a tear when Richie did his final bit of commentary for Channel 4 at the Oval in 2005, so it'll be good to have him back. Marvellous. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/jun/08/richie-benaud-ashes-channel-five

Finally, enter the Mongoose! This is the new, stubby bat designed especially for T20 which has a much shorter blade than a normal bat and a much bigger sweetspot. Former Essex batsmen Stuart Law loves it and reckons it could "take the world by storm." I love the way a game like cricket, that's often so fusty and set in its ways, can also be so open to innovation. I also like the fact that the inventor of the Mongoose is called Marcus Codrington Fernandez. It sounds like someone invented him. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/twenty20/5370046/Mongoose-cricket-bat-set-to-take-Twenty20-by-storm.html

A bag of mixed nuts

Well, a very mixed week for Essex and England cricket fans.

Good T20 wins for Essex over Surrey and Kent then thumpings from Sussex and Hampshire.

It seems like they are missing Bopara, Foster, Napier and ten Doeschate after all which, of course, is inevitable. What team wouldn't miss four of their best players.

I wasn't sure that was the case on Monday night watching Cook, Pettini and Flower in full flow, but if any of those misfires now, it seems like there's no-one able to step up with a big innings at the moment.

Ryan ten Doeschate saw Holland home against England in the ICC Twenty20 World Cup opener last night in what was a nail-biting game that England conspired to lose somehow.

They got off to a great start with Bopara and Wright but lost their way towards the end of their innings and then were sloppy in the field. That last over from Broad was agonising.

I had a good feeling about England's prospects in the tournament after some good showings against the Windies in one-dayers. Ho hum, that's cricket for you.

This was the cricketing highlight of the week though, a superb programme about cricket, history and culture; this one was on England, others to follow...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00l16vk/b00l16v5/Empire_of_Cricket_England/

Essex boys put Windies to the sword

This blogger would never want to appear smug but with Essex boys Alastair Cook and Ravi Bopara both chalking up centuries in the Second Test against the West Indies today, the post The Essex factor for England from last week certainly seems to hold some water.

If Cook and Bopara can carry this sort of form through to the Ashes series, Essex players could certainly play a large part in England having a successful summer.

By all accounts, Cook's unbeaten 126 wasn't the prettiest innings you'll ever see but he was due a big score and set about getting one methodically.

Bopara's 108 was a more swashbuckling affair and he's surely now grabbed the number three spot for Test series against the Aussies.

Both players have wildly different styles, but both look assured, comfortable and confident at the crease. Bopara will be particularly pleased to have taken his chance when it came round again after false starts in Sri Lanka and the West Indies over the last two winters.

Indeed, Bopara's century today makes him only the fifth Englishman to score centuries in three successive Test innings, joining a list that includes Herbert Sutcliffe, Denis Compton, Geoffrey Boycott and Bopara's batting mentor at Essex, Graham Gooch.

A doff of the cap to Ravi and Cooky...

The art of banter 1

I'll be writing a lot about cricket and banter soon (as well as cricket and snacks), but in the mean time here's a little something to get your teeth into from Paul Hayward at the Observer http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/may/10/test-match-special-radio-5-live

The case for Fozzie

Geraint Jones. Chris Read. Paul Nixon. Matt Prior. Tim Ambrose.

Spot a name missing from that list of those vying for the England wicket-keeper's job in recent years? Yes, that's right, James Foster, just about the only contender who hasn't been given a crack at the job since Alec Stewart retired from behind the stumps in 2003.

Essex fans have been banging on about the credentials of James Foster as England wicket-keeper for some time and there's a growing feeling in the game that he's the man for the job. But Fozzie hasn't had a look-in since his last Test in 2002 after he broke his arm in a freak training accident.

Many were left bewildered by his continued exclusion from any England squad after his excellent form last season. But Foster has just kept his head down and gone about his job in his usual efficient and effective way.

I happened to be in the Essex press box earlier this season when the topic of debate was the England keeper's job. The man from The Times said that England selector Geoff Miller had tasked Stewart's predecessor in the job, Jack Russell, with travelling round the counties last season to find out who was the best wickie. His answer was Foster. But still he wasn't picked.

No-one has cemented the gloveman's position since Stewart's retirement and the main reason seems to be that England want a wicket-keeper who is a also a big run scorer. This is all very well when you have the likes of an Adam Gilchrist or Brendon McCullum at your disposal. But England don't. Those kind of wicket-keeper batsmen don't come along very often.

Yet surely we shouldn't have to be relying on a keeper scoring runs all the time if our top order is performing properly. And thereby lies the real problem - it hasn't been recently. Out of our top five batsmen, it's rare that more than one has got a big score in an innings recently. And so the onus goes on to the wicket-keeper to make a lot of runs.

But an excellent wicket-keeper who bats well can contribute as much (if not more) to a team than a reasonably decent wickie who scores more runs. The old maxim that catches win matches isn't a hollow one.

Anyhow, it seems to me that Foster has proven himself in the last two seasons on both the batting and keeping fronts. By all accounts, he's improved immeasurably as a wicket-keeper since his last outing for the national side.

I've watched him at Essex many a time and he was impressive again against Lancashire Lightning in the Friends Provident Trophy today. He was an imposing presence behind the stumps, taking two catches and a brilliant, sharp stumping of du Plessis standing up to the pace bowling of David Masters. He also showed his quick hands and a quick mind in the run out of Sajid Mahmood after some good work in the field from Varun Chopra.

Essex made hard work of overhauling Lancashire's total at times and, as has so often been the case in the last year, Foster came to the crease to see his side over the line. In both the long and short form of the game, Foster has shown his prowess with the bat repeatedly. He's a shrewd rather than an extravagant operator with the bat, adapting readily to match situations and doing what's needed for the sake of the team.

Former Essex team-mate and England team director Andy Flower, who kept wicket for Zimbabwe as well as being their top batsmen, knows Foster's virtues well. The current holder of the England keeper's gloves Matt Prior had mixed fortunes in the Caribbean but acquitted himself reasonably well in the First Test against the West Indies last week. But with Foster now called up to the England Twenty20 side, he'll know that the Essex man must be figuring large in Flower's mind as the Ashes draws ever nearer.

The Essex factor for England

It may be rather previous to suggest it, but Essex could go a long way to making England's summer successful.

Ravi Bopara's composed, determined 143 not only helped England set the West Indies a total that they just weren't up to, it actually saved Andrew Strauss' men from a rather sticky situation as wickets tumbled around the 100 run mark of the England innings.

The idea that the number three slot for England was a problem seemed irrelevant once Bopara took control and steadied the ship. Numbers one, two, four and five looked more of a problem on the first afternoon of the Lord's test.

The form of Kevin Pietersen and Paul Collingwood must be of particular concern to England selector Geoff Miller, particularly KP whose frame of mind has not looked right since losing the captaincy.

Bopara may not be the long-term solution at one-wicket-down for England, but he looks better qualified than the other major contenders, Vaughan, Bell and Shah, at the moment. He certainly has the confidence to take on the Aussies and will bat wherever he is asked to.

England team director (aka coach) Andy Flower knows Ravi well, of course, from his time at Essex and saw early on that Bopara had the three Ts to succeed at international level: technique, talent and temperament.

Flower, a man known for his lack of bluff and bluster, says he was wowed by Bopara the first time he saw him at the County Ground, Chelmsford: "As soon as I arrived at Essex... the first time I saw him in the nets. He would have been 17."

"I rate him very highly," Flower said after the first Test. "This is just a start for him... it was a lovely innings to watch. In the way that you watch an artist, he painted a lovely picture."

Fulsome praise from a man not known for hyperbole.

And Bopara seems to be taking it all in his stride. He had a tough induction to Test cricket with three ducks in Sri Lanka the winter before last and was dropped for tactical reasons despite scoring a century in the fourth Test in Barbados earlier this year.

But Bopara has a strong self-belief and always backs himself to succeed, which is something the England dressing room needs right now. Indeed, Bopara, who has just turned 24, is so keen to play cricket that he returns to Essex to play in the Friends Provident match against Lancashire at Chelmsford today.

Bopara's Essex team-mate Alastair Cook won't be turning out for the Eagles but will be hoping to build on some decent innings in recent weeks when the second Test starts at Chester-le-Street on Thursday.

After missing the beginning of the season with a fractured finger, Cook looked in good nick in Essex's friendly match against the West Indies at Chelmsford two weeks ago and will now look to get beyond the 30s and 40s and post a big score for his country.

If him and Bopara are playing well, England will be well set for a confidence boosting series win against the Windies before the Ashes.

And don't count out the return of James Foster to the Test fold just yet either. Widely regarded as the best gloveman in the country, he's shown good form with the bat already this season and has already been selected for the England Twenty20 World Cup squad.

Andy Flower, a wicket-keeper batsman, knows Foster's abilities only too well. Matt Prior, watch your back...

Joys of cricket

When I told a friend that I was looking forward to the cricket season and watching Essex play, he replied: “Ah, cricket - that wonderful penumbra between doing nothing and something.”

Apart from being a rather pithy turn of phrase, it probably summarises very well what most casual observers think of cricket: Hours and hours of seeming inactivity and tedium punctuated by brief spurts of excitement. Actually, that sounds like life in general, doesn’t it?

However, I think most people would change their view of the game if they had to stand at one end of a 22 yard pitch with some brute juggernauting towards them from the other end, preparing to hurl a hard, leather-encased ball at them at top tilt.

They might even feel a slight frisson of excitement or fear as they realise they have around half a second to react from when the ball leaves the bowler’s hand before it makes contact with some soft or breakable part of their anatomy.

But if you don’t really know or love the game, it all must look like a rather idiosyncratic and anachronistic game full of unfathomable rules, strange rituals and long periods where nothing really happens.

After all, this is a sport where, when played at its highest level, a match can last five days... and even then there isn't necessarily a result.

The subtleties of field placements, of the ball spinning, seaming or swinging (or reverse swinging), of weather playing such a major part in the outcome of a match, must all seem rather absurd to those not enamoured of cricket.

But I love the way a game of cricket can be an unfolding combination of the sublime and the ridiculous, of the brilliant and baffling.

It is a sport that is as eccentric, ridiculous and magnificent as the very best English inventions (although it is now rumoured that the Belgians actually invented cricket).

So bring on the thwack of willow on leather, the smell of freshly cut grass, long summer days and warm beer. I don't like cricket... I love it.